Drinking Philosophers Song — Monty Python Lyrics

Immanuel Kant was a real p**sant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrick Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schloegel.

There's nothin' Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently p**sed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away; half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
Rene Descartes was a drunken fart. "I drink therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's p**sed.