"Vampires Suck" Soundtrack Lyrics

"Vampires Suck (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack & Score)" – Album Guide to Tracks and Key Scenes

Overview

What does a vampire spoof sound like when it steals the melodrama but swaps the angst for goofy bravado? Vampires Suck answers with a two-pronged release: a novelty-leaning songs compilation filled with cheeky source cues, and a surprisingly buff orchestral score by Christopher Lennertz that parodies the Twilight palette with real craft.

The songs album plays like a school-dance DJ crate — quick-hit needle-drops, prom gags, and end-credits bravado — while Lennertz’s score goes full straight-face: piano theme for Becca, brooding guitar swells for the vamps, hushed strings for first-kiss sincerity, then hammering brass for the punchlines. Joke setup, symphonic payoff — rinse, repeat.

Genre phases: tongue-in-cheek library pop & novelty cuts (banter, montages); 80s/90s throwbacks (prom- and makeover energy); post-Twilight melodrama score (earnest on purpose — that’s the joke). On album, it’s an easy ride; on screen, it locks onto every parody beat.

How It Was Made

Releases: Lakeshore Records issued both Vampires Suck (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) — 16 tracks of songs and source cues — and Vampires Suck (Original Motion Picture Score) by Christopher Lennertz on August 17, 2010 (digital/CD). The songs album leans heavily on in-house/ad hoc artists (Ali Dee, Magicwandos, Barnetta) designed for comedy timing, plus a few recognizable cuts used diegetically.

Score approach: Lennertz writes the music as if the movie were deadly serious, then nudges motifs toward punchlines. Big string swells, piano-theme intimacy, guitar color, and “danger” brass — it’s a loving send-up of teen-vamp symphonic tropes.

Tracks & Scenes

“My Panties” (Magicwandos)

Where it plays:

Becca’s iPod jam during a road trip with her dad. Windows up, lyric silliness on blast — a fast cue that tells you exactly what kind of movie you’re in.

Why it matters:

Announces the film’s shameless gag frequency; a novelty track used like a sight-gag in audio form.

“Succubus Baby” (Magicwandos)

Where it plays:

Early school-day montage: Jacob chases a cat; Becca gets hazed; the tone is prankish rather than perilous.

Why it matters:

Establishes the cutaway rhythm — jokes land on downbeats.

“Believe Nothing” (The Deekompressors)

Where it plays:

Prom invitations fly around school. The track sits under quick dialogue pops and flyers changing hands.

Why it matters:

Sourcey pop that oils the montage machinery.

“Late Night Superstar” (Revival Chiefs)

Where it plays:

Bedroom fake-out: as Becca makes a move, Edward literally pushes her away with a lamp. The cue keeps swaggering while the joke undercuts it.

Why it matters:

Perfect counterpoint — confident hook, zero romance.

“Are We On” (Killdeer)

Where it plays:

Meet-the-family in the woods: Edward introduces Becca at the Sullens’ home as the track pads the scene with lightly mysterious polish.

Why it matters:

Makes the parody dinner feel like a CW drama — by design.

“I Miss You” (Arlaner)

Where it plays:

Becca mopes in her room post-breakup, paging books and staring into the sad middle distance.

Why it matters:

The most sincere-sounding library cut gets played straight — which is funny in itself.

“Hey Eddie” (Barnetta)

Where it plays:

Driving sing-along gag. Becca belts while Edward winces and tells her to stop singing like Taylor Swift.

Why it matters:

Meta-jab at teen-pop tropes; the song sets up the punchline.

“My First Wish” (Miss Eighty 6)

Where it plays:

Prom lead-up: a blonde extra dances briefly while Edward insists he needs someone as “unusual” as himself.

Why it matters:

Quick-hit cue that buttons a visual gag.

“All the Way Up” (Alana D)

Where it plays:

Prom arrivals: a beer-chugging vamp, Becca’s yellow Porsche, chaos brewing behind a disco sheen.

Why it matters:

Gives the prom a radio gloss so the slapstick can crash through it.

“It’s Raining Men” (The Weather Girls)

Where it plays:

A quick comedic button during prom madness (blink and you’ll miss it) as bodies and bits fly.

Why it matters:

Literal lyric meets literal gag — classic parody move.

End credits stack — “If I Was Your Vampire” (Marilyn Manson) → “My Panties” (Magicwandos) → “Wango Tango” (Danielle Barbe)

Where it plays:

Credits open with Manson’s doom-swoon, then pivot back to the film’s novelty palette, ending with a swaggering pop-rock closer.

Why it matters:

Two moods: faux-epic goth, then a wink. The album preserves the vibe.

Score moments — Christopher Lennertz

Where it plays:

“What Would You Do?” (overture-style statement of the main theme), “First Kiss” (piano + strings sincerity), “Race to Prom” (action crescendo), “The Final Bite” (curtain call).

Why it matters:

Plays the romance like it’s for real, which makes the parody sharper — earnest music as blade.

Notes & Trivia

• Lakeshore Records released both albums on the same day — one for songs, one for Lennertz’s score.
• The score recording features the Hungarian Radio Orchestra with conductor Géza Török — a legit symphonic sweep for a very silly movie.
• The songs album is heavy on production-library artists tailored to scene beats (Ali Dee, Magicwandos, etc.).
• Yes, that really is Marilyn Manson over the first end-credits crawl — the starkest “straight” needle-drop in the film.
• Scene-by-scene logs note more cues than the retail album could fit; a few placements vary slightly by cut/territory.

Reception & Quotes

Critics skewered the movie, but several film-music outlets singled out Lennertz’s score for hitting the vampire-romance sound better than the films it mocks.

“An intelligent guilty pleasure of a parody… arguably more effective than the actual scores for The Twilight Saga.” Filmtracks

Interesting Facts

• Score & songs drop together: Both albums hit digital/CD the Tuesday before release weekend.
• Parody by precision: The score quotes the Twilight “feel” without copying melodies — piano tenderness, guitar shimmer, ominous brass.
• Credits whiplash: End credits swing from Manson’s gloom to candy-coated novelty tracks in minutes.
• Prom-scene stacking: Short licensed cues at prom act like percussion for sight gags — in/out in under a scene.
• Library to screen: Many song artists here are studio aliases built for quick custom placements.

Technical Info

• Title: Vampires Suck — Original Motion Picture Soundtrack; Vampires Suck — Original Motion Picture Score
• Year: 2010 (both albums released August 17, 2010; film released August 18–20, 2010 in various territories)
• Type: Film soundtrack (songs) + film score
• Composer: Christopher Lennertz (score)
• Label: Lakeshore Records (both albums)
• Selected placements (on screen): “My Panties” — road-trip iPod; “Late Night Superstar” — Becca’s failed seduction; “Are We On” — meet the family; “I Miss You” — post-breakup room; “Hey Eddie” — driving sing-along gag; “It’s Raining Men” — prom chaos; end credits: “If I Was Your Vampire” → “My Panties” → “Wango Tango.”

Questions & Answers

Was there an official soundtrack album?

Yes — Lakeshore released a 16-track songs compilation and a separate 24-track Christopher Lennertz score the same day.

Who composed the score and what’s the vibe?

Christopher Lennertz; he plays it completely straight — lush piano and strings, action brass — to satirize teen-vamp melodrama.

What song kicks off the end credits?

Marilyn Manson’s “If I Was Your Vampire,” followed by novelty cuts (“My Panties,” etc.) and “Wango Tango.”

Are the songs by “real” artists?

Some are; many are production-team aliases crafted for quick comedic placements.

Where can I see when each song plays?

Scene-by-scene logs list placements and timestamps for road-trip, bedroom, meet-the-family, prom, and credit cues.

Key Contributors

Sources: Lakeshore/Apple Music listings (songs & score); scene-by-scene song log; Filmtracks review & score details; Discogs release (score CD); MovieMusic/SoundtrackINFO references; 20th Century Fox trailer.

November, 20th 2025