You Are Old Father William Lyrics – They Might Be Giants

You Are Old Father William Text

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You are old, Father William, the young man said,
And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.

I am old, I am old, I will tell you again I am old

You are old, said the youth, As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?

In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?

I am old, I am old, It's a statement in fact, I am old

You are old, said the youth, And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?

In my youth, said his father, I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.

I am old, I am old, there's not much more to say I am old

You are old, said the youth, one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?

I have answered three questions, and that is enough,
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!

Down stairs, Down stairs,
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!

[Thanks to Jamie for lyrics]