The Woman's Dead Lyrics

The Woman's Dead Text

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Carmen (spoken):
Jessica Cranshaw will never be better than she was this evening.

Bobby:
But she was horrible.

Carmen:
I know. But she’ll never better. She’s dead. That was the hospital on the phone. In terms of future performances, Jessica
Cranshaw now has a conflict.

Georgia:
Chris, do you want to say something to the company about Jessica?

Chris:
Shall we all observe a moment of silence … to match the audience’s response to Jessica’s first number?

Aaron:
Chris!

Chris:
Oh, all right. Jessica was part of our company and now we part company. I’m sure we shall all remember her in our thoughts
and in our resumes. And now as thespians, I know you’d like to express your sorrow, both as a tribute and as an acting
exercise. Sasha—F Sharp minor.

All (sung):
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Carmen:
The woman’s dead
The woman’s dead

Aaron:
Go tell her fans to change their plans
The woman’s dead

Nikki:
Would someone care
To say a prayer?

Aaron:
Who might that be?

Chris:
Don’t look at me
Carmen, Aaron, and Chris:
The woman’s dead

All:
Ooh, ooh, ooh
The woman’s dead
She’s dead and gone

Bobby:
She’s flown the coop
And now our troupe is minus one

Nikki:
She sang each word
The angels heard
They closed her mouth and shipped her south

Bobby and Nikki:
The woman’s done

All:
Ooh, ooh, ooh
The woman’s dead
The woman’s dead

Bambi:
She was a b**ch

Chris:
And under pitch

Bambi:
And now she’s dead

All:
Our star is dead

Aaron:
She had no voice

Oscar:
She had no wits

Carmen:
She had no brains
She just had tits
Aaron and Carmen:
And now she’s dead

All:
The woman’s dead
The woman’s dead

Johnny:
She’s taking ten
’Til God knows when
The woman’s dead

Men:
The skies are blue

Nikki:
Her lips are too

All:
Can’t blow her nose
Can’t shake her head
See for yourself
It’s like I said
The woman’s definitely
Positively …

Cioffi (spoken):
Excuse me, I’m Lt. Frank Cioffi of the greater Boston Police. I’m assigned to the homicide division and, oh, it’s an honor
to be standing on the same stage with each and every one of you!

All (sung):
Dead! Dead! Dead!

[Thanks to Twoey for lyrics]