Boy Meets Girl Lyrics – Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas

Boy Meets Girl Text

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Boy: Hi!
Girl: Hi!
Boy: I'm a baby!
Girl: What do you think I am, a loaf of bread?
Boy: You could be, what do I know, I'm just born I'm a baby I don't even know if I'm under a tree or in the hospital or
what I'm just so glad to be here.
Girl: Well, I'm a baby, too.
Boy: Have it your way, I don't want to fight about it.
Girl: What, are you scared?
Boy: Yes, I am. I'm a little scared. I'll tell you why, see I don't know if I'm a boy or a girl yet.
Girl: What's that got to do with it?
Boy: Well, if I'm a girl and you're a boy you could beat me up, you think I want to lose a tooth my first day alive?
Girl: What's a tooth?
Boy: Search me! I'm just born, I'm a baby, I don't know nothin' yet!
Girl: You think you're a girl?
Boy: I don't know, I might be. I think I am, I've never been anything before, let me see, let me take a little look
around…hmmm, cute feet, small, dainty…yep, yep! I'm a girl, that's it! Girl time.
Girl: Well what do you think I am?
Boy: You? That's easy, you're a boy.
Girl: You sure?
Boy: Of course I'm sure, I'm alive already four or five minutes, right? I haven't been wrong yet!
Girl: Gee, I don't feel like a boy.
Boy: That's because you can't see yourself!
Girl: Why, what do I look like?
Boy: Bald. You're bald, fella. Bald, bald, bald. You're bald as a ping-pong ball, are you bald.
Girl: So?
Boy: So? Boys are bald and girls have hair.
Girl: Are you sure?
Boy: Of course I'm sure - who's bald, your mother or your father?
Girl: My father.
Boy: I rest my case.
Girl: Hm. You're bald, too!
Boy: You're kidding!
Girl: No, I'm not -
Boy: --Don't look!
Girl: Why?
Boy: (sigh) A bald girl, yuch, disgusting!
Girl: Maybe you're a boy and I'm a girl.
Boy: There you go again, I told you I'm a girl, I know it, I know it, I'm a girl and you're a boy.
Girl: I think you're wrong.
Boy: I'm never wrong, what about shaving?
Girl: What about it?
Boy: You just shaved, right?
Girl: Wrong.
Boy: Exactly. And you know why? Because everyone's born with a clean shave, it's just that girls keep theirs and boys don't.
Girl: So what does that prove?
Boy: Tomorrow morning, the one that needs a shave, he's a boy.
Girl: Well, I can't wait until tomorrow morning.
Boy: See, that proves it! Girls are patient, boys are impatient!
Girl: Yeah? What else?
Boy: Can you keep a secret?
Girl: Absolutely.
Boy: There you go, boys keep secrets, girls don't.
Girl: Mmm, go on.
Boy: Are you afraid of mice?
Girl: No.
Boy: I am! I'm terrified of them! I hate them! Squeak, squeak, squeak! Whatta you wanna be when you grow up?
Girl: A fireman.
Boy: What'd I tell ya?
Girl: What about you?
Boy: A cocktail waitress! Does that prove anything to you?
Girl: Hm, you must be right.
Boy: I told you, I'm always right. You're the boy and I'm the girl.
Girl: I guess so. (gasp) Oh, wait! Here comes the nurse to change our diapers.
Boy: About time, too, I have never been so uncomfortable in my life.
Girl: Hey! Look at that!
Boy: What?
Girl: You see that? I am a girl! And you're a boy!
Boy: Hey, it sure looks like it.
Girl: What do you think of that?
Boy: I can't understand it.
Girl: Well, it sure goes to show ya…
Boy: What?
Girl: You can't judge a book by it's cover.
Boy: (Laughs) What does that mean?
Girl: How should I know, I'm only a baby.
Boy: So am I. Goo.
Girl: Goo.

[Thanks to Gabriella for lyrics]