Yo Girl Lyrics

Yo Girl Text

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HEATHER DUKE:
(spoken) Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.

VERONICA:
(spoken) Oh my God. Is she dead—?

HEATHER DUKE:
Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
(sung) Yo girl, keep it together
I knew you would come far
Now you’re truly a Heather
Smell how gangsta you are.

(lights up on Martha in a hospital bed)

VERONICA:
Martha, I’m so sorry?

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
Yo girl, feel a bit punchy?
She’s not looking so well
Still, you’ve earned that red scrunchie
Come join Heather in hell

(Lights change, Veronica runs into her Mom and Dad)

VERONICA’S DAD:
(spoken) Where have you been?

VERONICA’S MOM:
(spoken) We’ve been worried sick! Your friend JD stopped by. He told us everything?

VERONICA:
‘Everything’

VERONICA’S DAD:
Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?

VERONICA’S MOM:
He even showed us your copy of Moby di*k.

HEATHER CHANDLER:
(spoken) He’s got your handwriting down cold.

VERONICA’S MOM:
Please, honey. Talk to us!

VERONICA:
No, you wouldn’t understand!

VERONICA’S MOM:
Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now.

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
(sung) Guess who’s right down the block?

VERONICA’S MOM:
You’re problems seem like life and death—

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
Guess who’s climbing the stairs?

VERONICA’S MOM:
I promise, they’re not.

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
Guess who’s picking your lock?

VERONICA:
You don’t know what my world looks like!

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
Time’s up! Go say your prayers!

VERONICA’S MOM:
What did I say?!

(Veronica barricades herself in the closet)

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT:
Veronica’s running on, running on fumes now
Veronica’s totally fried
Veronica’s gotta be trippin’ on ‘schrooms now,
Thinking that she can hide
Veronica’s done for, there’s no doubt now,
Notify next of kin!
Veronica’s trying to keep him out now
Too late!
He got in!

JD:
(spoken) Knock! Knock! Sorry to come through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know!