Poor, Unsuccessful And Fat — A New Brain Cast Lyrics

Poor, Unsuccessful And Fat Song Lyrics

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RICHARD
Time for your sponge bath

GORDON
Aw, must I?

RICHARD
Honey, I don’t wanna be here either

Poor Unsuccessful and Fat
Who would’ve thought I would end like that?
Surely, in no time, you’ll be back to normal
In your evening formal
I’ll be Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Fat
And getting older

GORDON
All right, come on

RICHARD
Hello
Plus, have you noticed I sweat?

GORDON
Hello

RICHARD
I have a list of things I regret
Don’t tell this story to little children
Cause it’s gonna scare them
How I’m Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Fat

And getting older, getting greyer
Stop me if you’ve heard this before
Cause if you’ve heard this before
Hell it’s just more of the same

GORDON
Well

RICHARD
Help me
I’m a player
Who’ll never make it, I won’t make, I won’t make it

GORDON
NO NO NO NO NO NO

RICHARD
Once I was practically thin

GORDON
OH….

RICHARD
Now I can eat like I’m Rin Tin Tin
Soon you’ll be back home
A success in training
I’ll be here complaining
That I’m Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Faaaaattttt
And getting older

GORDON
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful

RICHARD
I’m getting older

GORDON
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful

RICHARD
I’m getting older

MR. BUNGEE
You’re not successful

GORDON
I am not successful

MR. BUNGEE
You’re too old to be a failure

GORDON
I’m too old to be a failure

MR. BUNGEE
Your futures looking cloudy

GORDON
My future’s looking cloudy

MR. BUNGEE
Your sister is a whore

GORDON
My sister’s a receptionist!

MR. BUNGEE
Bet your tush you’re unsuccessful
Don’t mean to make this more stressful than it’s already become
But you’re Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
and Untalented
Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
and Untalented
Almost psychotically grim and untalented
That’s what we say about him he’s untalented

GORDON
HELP

[Thanks to Joe Elliott for lyrics]