Amayzing Gertrude

Amayzing Gertrude Song Lyrics

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GERTRUDE
So she flew to the doctor, the doctor named Dake
Whose office was high in a tree by the lake.
And she cried, -Mr. Doctor! - oh, please, do you know
Of some kind of pill that will make my tail grow?

(The CAT appears as DR. DAKE, wearing a stethoscope)

CAT (as Doctor Dake)
"Tut tut!", said the Doctor.
Such talk! It's too absurd!
Your little tail is just right
For your kind of bird!

(NOTE: The CAT may use German, pig Latin,
Unintelligible gibberish or anything else that's funny in order to say the above.
However, if anything but plain English is used for the above,
Then please add the following lines in parenthesis to provide a "translation":

GERTRUDE
(Baffled)
Huh??

CAT (as Doctor Dake)
In other words, your little tail is just right for your kind of bird!

GERTRUDE
(having a tantrum)
Then Gertrude had tantrums. She raised such a din
That finally the doctor just had to give in.

CAT (as Doctor Dake)
(Reacts to her tantrum)
Alright already! Bring in the Pill-berry bush!

(DR. DAKE'S NURSE brings in the pill-berry bush.
GERTRUDE plucks and eats some of the pills)

GERTRUDE
Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp gulp gulp!
GERTRUDE
What was that?
Something's itching me!
What was that?
Something's twitching me!
What was that?
Are those feathers I see?
I think my tail's beginning!
Oh my word!
This is wonderful!
Second, third,
Wow, I'm colorful!
What a bird
I'm beginning to be...
Amayzing Gertrude

BIRD GIRLS
Just look at the tail she is sportin,

GERTRUDE & BIRD GIRLS
Amayzing Gertrude

GERTRUDE
Thank you, Doctor Dake!

BIRD GIRLS
Thanks, doc!

GERTRUDE & BIRD GIRLS
Amayzing Gertrude!

GERTRUDE
And hopefully I'll impress Horton!

BIRD GIRLS
Amayzing Gertrude...

(She starts taking more pills)

GERTRUDE
One more pill will do me good
Yes, it will!
One more, one more, one more pill

BIRD GIRLS
Soon, she'll have the biggest tail...
She'll have the biggest tail!

GERTRUDE
I'll have the biggest tail!

GERTRUDE & BIRD GIRLS
The biggest tail of...

GERTRUDE
All!
BIRD GIRLS
All!

(GERTRUDE freezes for a minute.
THE CAT IN THE HAT and JOJO appear together, somewhere "out of the frame',
observing GERTRUDE in the story)

JOJO
So Gertrude is happy. Her tail's nice and long.

CAT
Kid, fasten your seat belt.
'Cause now things go wrong!

(MUSIC kicks in as GERTRUDE exits.
Lights come up on the jungle at night. It's dark and menacing.
The WICKERSHAM BROTHERS are hanging around, looking for a little fun.)