Are You About A Size 14? Lyrics – Silence! The Musical Cast

Are You About A Size 14? Text

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[Buffalo Bill]

Superficial people
I don't think looks matter
Some folks weigh a hundred pounds
But I want someone fatter.
I want a girl who'll fit me to a T --
A woman who'll look good on me.

Say,
Are you about a size fourteen?
Are you about a size fourteen?
In order to get victims
You've gotta lie and trick 'em
So I put my arm inside a sling.

I got her in my sights
She's appropriately fat
I'll wait for her to notice me
I hope she fed her cat!
She's perfect, yes, but one more thing
Remains yet to be seen:
Is she about a size fourteen?

She'll see me with this couch
I'll get her in the van
I'll punch her in the face
And drive away
And that's the plan.
I'll cut off all her skin
And wear it like a dress
I'll dump her in the ocean
Let the cops clean up the mess.

Are you about a size fourteen?
Are you about a size fourteen?
If you want to find the one
You need a girl who weighs a ton
And she's also gotta be naive.

I'll keep her in a well
They'll never ever find her
I'll tuck my di*k between my legs
You'll think it's a vagina.
I'll look just like a girl
By golly, I'll have fun
But for now be quiet -- Shhh!
Don't make a sound here 'cause she comes.

[Catherine]
Can I give you a hand with that?
You look a little handicapped.

[Bill]
She's coming towards the van
I'll ask her to get in.
I'll check her tag and if she fits
I'll cut off all her skin.

Are you about a size fourteen?
Are you about a size fourteen?
My hobbies include sewing
If you like me let's get going
And I'll put you in a hole where you can scream!

I betcha she's a size fourteen
I'm lookin' for a size fourteen
She brought this on herself
Because she offered me her help
And she's an idiot for trusting me.

Are you about a size fourteeeeeeeeeeeen?

[Chorus]
His plan was worth the wait
He's got her in his tru
She took the bait and now she's out of luck.