It's Agent Shtarling Lyrics – Silence! The Musical Cast

It's Agent Shtarling Text

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Agent Starling:
Who would have thought,
I could make it this far,
In so little time?

Look in the car,
There's a head in a jar,
It's the scene of a crime!

Now they can't hold me back,
'Cause I just raised the bar,
I'm on fire, call the press,
Here I am, hold your breath,
I'm a star!

It's Agent Shtarling!

Riddles and anagrams,
Oh how he thrives,
On his cute little games,

Don't really mind,
At the end of the day,
If he's giving me names

And now that I'm making a difference,
The guys won't belittle me back at the base,
Guess it's a good thing that Multiple Miggs,
Shot a load in my face

Crawford's rewarding me,
Now I'm officially,
Part of the chase

All of you bastards,
You'd better keep up,
'Cause I'm setting the pace

I'm excited I confess,
Won't my teachers be impressed?
I'll be Quantico's little darling

There are lives on the line,
And that severed head's a sign,
That this case should be mine!

It's Agent Shtarling!

Officer 1:
(spoken)
Whenever you're ready, Starling

Agent Starling:
(spoken in a rap)
This girl, she wasn't local,
Her ears are pierced three times,
She's purple and she's bloated,
Body's caked in grime.

Diamond shaped incisions,
In the middle of her back,
Lot's of missing tissue,
And her fingernails cracked.

When they found her,
She was lying afloat,
She's the specimen,
I'm taking notes.

Though it might be,
Inappropriate to gloat,
Don't look now,
But I just found a bug in her throat!

Officer 2:
What kind of maniac would shove a moth down someone's throat?

Agent Starling:
I don't know... But I know who does.
(sung)
Lord only knows,
What he's thinking behind,
That maniacal stare

He's an expert on perfume,
Accessories, clothes,
Better watch what I wear

He's cooperated great,
Information on a plate,
All the clues are on a slate,
Because I'm starving

Now there's no turning back,
He and I, We're on park,
Let him put me on the track,
No more nonsense, just the facts,
I'm a star!

It's Agent Shtarling!

[Thanks to Barrett Elrod for lyrics]