Pirelli's Miracle Elixir Lyrics

Pirelli's Miracle Elixir Text

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Tobias:
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your
pillow is covered with hair what ought not to be there? Well, ladies and gentlemen, from now on you can waken at ease. You
need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a miracle marvellous rare. Gentlemen, you are abour to see something
what rose from the dead - on the top of my head. 'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir. That's what did the trick, sir, true, sir,
true. Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir, just like an elixir ought to do. How about a bottle, mister? Only costs a
penny, guaranteed. Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir? You can have my oath, sir. 'Tis unique. Rub a minute,
stimulatin' i'n' it? Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Sweeney:
Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Mrs Lovett:
Are we standing near and open trench? Pardon me, sir what's that awful stench?

Sweeney:
Must be standing near an open trench!

Tobias:
Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, anything what's slick, sir. Soon sprouts curls. Try Pirelli's. When they see how thick, sir,
you can have your pick, sir, of the girls. Wanna buy a bottle, mister?

Sweeney:
What is this?

Mrs Lovett:
What is this?

Sweeney:
Smells like p**s.

Mrs Lovett:
Smells like - eeww!

Sweeney:
Looks like p**s.

Mrs Lovett:
Wouldn't touch it if I was you dear.

Sweeney:
This is p**s, p**s with ink.

Tobias:
Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir.

Sweeney:
Keep it off your boots, sir, eats right through.

Tobias:
Yes, get Pirelli's! Use a bottle of it, ladies seem to love it!

Mrs Lovett:
Flies do too!